Issue date: 2/12/09 Section: The Verge

She Said by Cari Wafford

Belarusians believe Valentine's Day is a tribute to a disheartened man who manically bludgeoned himself with a sword, after what must have been a really bad breakup.

As a token of his dying love, he then delivered the still-beating heart to his significant other.

Now, heart-shaped cards, candies and other pink and red swag tribute a man's overwhelming mania for the one that got away.

Wow.

It is both real and imagined tales of hysterical lust and love that make me happy that I am single.

I am equally overjoyed that this nonsense "holiday" does not affect my life.

It seems unnatural to be so saddened by one day every February.

At any rate, February isn't the greatest month on the calendar.

The trees aren't blooming. The grass isn't green. The birds don't chirp.

Can we please skip ahead to March?

Ask yourself if this sounds absurd: Every year, on the last Friday in April, citizens in urban cities become miserable and unhappy.

To them, Arbor Day is another constant reminder of the lack of foliage in their environment.

People weep at the thought of a booming Douglas fir in some distant suburban neighborhood.

Yes! That is crazy, and it is quite disturbing so many people share that same demeanor on Feb. 14.

I think everyone should take a step back and reevaluate this situation.

In honor of this day of all days, the local bars will most likely grant us the single greatest deal in our young adult lives, drink specials.

To our underage readers, no deals for you, but I'm sure the dining centers will provide an extra-special surprise sometime during the week.

Nonetheless, I suggest the 21-and-over crowd detach themselves from being miserable.

Instead, attach yourselves to a tall drink and go have some fun.

Hopefully my enthusiastic rant will spare a few tears.

I would love to offer to buy a round myself, but I just spent $12.99 on a set of magnetic kissing bears from SHOP.com.

He said by David Thill

It's getting to be that time of the year again.

The air has a crisp chill, people stroll along clutching their scarves and jacket collars and impatiently await the arrival of spring.

And those in love look toward the 14th of February to celebrate their love.

And those of us less fortunate sit and stew, ignore the lovebirds around us or merely attempt to bury our collective heads in the sand and wait out the sloppy emotional mess that is Valentine's Day.

Needless to say, I am no fan of this "holiday."

It isn't that I harbor some sort of bitterness toward those in love - all right, I am somewhat bitter - it is, however, that I resent the sense of having others' happiness and romantic contentment shoved in my face.

I don't blame the loving couples or the smitten lover-from-afar, I blame the media that insists on orchestrating a spike in the sale of chocolates, flowers, diamonds and other assorted gifts.

I just plain don't like seeing weeks and weeks of advertisements constantly streaming the Internet and air-waves that serve as a reminder of how I am single.

And I am well aware that some people would say that Valentine's Day comes every year, so one who is staring down the business end of 24 years old should be prepared for it's annual arrival, and they are right.

I also know that there are those who would shout the merits of single life: The freedom, the unabashed liberty of doing what you want, when you want. And they are also right.

However, I feel that for many, single life can be both a blessing and burden.

A blessing in the aforementioned freedom, the lack of just one more distraction in life.

And as much as one may love single life, a cold space next to you every night can get a tad old.

It is also not to say that I don't like being single from time to time. I am, however, very shy when it comes to women and initiating relationships, and Valentine's Day reminds me of that. It reminds me of past relationships. It reminds me that I've been single for two years. And I just don't like that.

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